The flurry of interviews has died down.
The roller coaster ride of anxiety, excitement and joy has come to a slow halt.
The feeling of ‘aliveness’ I’ve felt since Dying to Know – Is there life after death was published, has given way to the numbness of normal everyday life.
I’ve had but a mere taste of what’s it’s like to publish a book, with all the highs and lows that goes along with it; the anticipation, the anxiety, the nervousness, the tension, the joy, the excitement, the ego rush, the interesting conversations, the interesting people and interesting stories, the book signings, the emails, the congratulations, the feedback and now…. I feel it’s all over.
That’s why I’ve been feeling flat.
I’ve got the post publication blues.
I certainly can’t take this new condition too seriously, but it has provided new insights into how I operate and gives me a new focus on what I want out of life.
The big ‘coming down’ coincided with a work trip overseas where I was enlivened once again with a joy of travel, seeing new lands, eating fucking delicious new foods and exploring to my heart’s content. If only I could combine both my love of travel with writing and publishing – that’s where my heart lay.
However since that trip, I’d noticed I’d lost my motivation, my normal day job (for which provided the trip) seemed monotonous and pedestrian, and there was a lack of something in general that I couldn’t put my finger on.
But it was when of the ladies at work pointed out, rather bluntly, that I’ve been a misery guts since I got back from the trip and that I wasn’t my usual self, I tried to add things up. What else had been going on since then? What else could be contributing to my mournful melancholic state? Why did everything seem so boring?
Then it hit me, I had the blues. The Post Publication Blues and it happened to fit in at the same time as coming back from the work trip. I’ve never liked conforming to society’s mind-numbing bullshit and now here I was forced to merge with again and now it was depressing the fuck out me.
At least now I know what ails me, I can find a cure.
And that makes me smile.
(I’ve just done a Google search on Post Publication Blues and found out it’s a real condition experienced by thousands of writers and illustrators so I’m not alone. I might join a support group. Not likely!)