How to Hack IKEA and life in general.

There’s a secret door in IKEA that takes you straight to the checkouts.

Yep, you can bypass the entire ‘Market place’ section without even having to battle your way through the piles of cheese graters, wooden spoon packs, stuffed toys, wall hangings and lime green lamp shades.

I’m not talking about the little ‘short cuts’ either, the ones that aren’t marked but if you turn your head sideways, you can see a small crack between the ‘Jokeinishn’ cushions and the ‘Skoken’ rugs just big enough for a person to slip through and you find you’ve been able to skip the entire bed linen section.

I’m talking about the big short cut, the get out of jail one. This is the door to freedom. It’s the door that sticks a middle finger in the face of consumerism and says ‘stuff you, I’m on my way to enlightenment with only 3 items and I didn’t have to suffer to get there’.
However there’s a trick to finding this door. It’s not marked. Actually it’s very well disguised. The trick though is like anything in life, you have to ask.
IKEA is like our modern society, you start at one end and you get funnelled through a predetermined life path, all the while being dazzled and confused by bright shiny objects which makes you buy the said bright and shiny objects which you really didn’t need and then you have to pack your own bags with the objects you didn’t need and even then you still have to stuff it into your car all by yourself. And all along the way there’s no help from anyone.
No-one at IKEA ever says ‘Hi, May I be of help?’ You are on your own.
Don’t get me wrong, I like some of the cool minimalist furniture designs at IKEA, my office is full of it, but I buy it on line.
However back to the secret door.
It’s a door that says you don’t have to follow the same path as everyone else. You can make the quick escape and run for the wide meadows of yellow sunflowers and sprawl out naked in the warm sunshine if you want to.
You just have to ask. They won’t tell you, you have to be humble and ask for help.
‘Excuse me, I just want to get to the checkouts, I don’t want to go through the entire market place when all I have is this ‘Krakenshazen’ tooth brush holder. Help me please.’
‘You see the big silver doors near the trolleys?’
‘Go through those ones, good day’. 
The big silver doors were where the officious assistant said they were yet they looked big and menacing.  ‘Keep closed. Fire exit’ was emblazed across both of them. What if I trigger a fire alarm? What if a security guard comes and arrests us and we’re hold up in the kids play centre for hours being interrogated by a large woman called Beryl?

There’s another aspect to asking for help that’s just as important as asking for it and that’s acting on the advice given. The lady wasn’t going to open the door for us, we had to do that ourselves, she just pointed us in the right direction. We had to trust what she was saying even though the signs on the doors said the opposite.  
Stuff it, we pushed the doors open and pushed through our fears and walked through.  
No alarms. No rushing security guards. No code red, nothing but a sea of checkouts. We made it, freedom.  
We’d hacked IKEA and maybe the secret to life.  
Ask the universe for help, trust the advice and then act on it.  
Have you experienced this?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s