Most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing, but I still show up.
There’s something in me that drives me forward, to keep going.
To keep showing up.
But to be blatantly honest with you, there are times when I don’t.
I get overwhelmed with anxiety and old childhood trauma patterns play out and I feel like curling up in a ball and hiding from everyone and everything.
It’s then the idea of not knowing what I’m doing doesn’t empower me, it’s scares the hell out of me.
Even though I believe in the messages I am giving kids with all my heart, moving into the practicality of what that looks like, is taking me far out of my comfort zone.
There is nothing certain about what I’d doing. It’s completely new territory. There is no path to follow.
As humans, we’re hardwired to look for certainty, to find safety and security. That’s why we stay trapped in jobs and relationships we hate because the fear of the unknown is so powerful.
And you throw in all the chaos that’s happening in the world and how divisive everything is becoming, the desire to find certainty and safety is stronger than ever.
But that’s not where life is.
Life is not hiding, retreating and being ‘safe’.
Life doesn’t come with certainty and security built in or even as added extras.
No adventure ever started with wanting to be safe.
Life is about being brave, taking risks (big and small), treading your own path and making new discoveries.
It’s about experiencing life in all its weirdness.
It’s taking a deep dive into the unknown and seeing what treasure you can find to then bring back and share with others.
I still may not know what I’m doing, and I still have my shit days, but after a loving hug, some encouraging words and same space, I show up again.