How I pulled myself out of a self-worth abyss

How I pulled myself out of a self-worth abyss.

My childhood was pockmarked with trauma and neglect, eroding any sense of self-worth.

Every achievement in adulthood I soon sabotaged, downplayed, or ran away from. I wasn’t worthy of any of it.

But slowly over time that changed.

I realised what it was.

When I starting to do something I found meaningful, I felt more inclined to move forward.

I felt braver to do one small thing. Even though it scared me.  

I then looked around, waited, felt safe and took another small step.

Then I got curious about where I was going.

It led me to places I didn’t expect, but I went there to see what would happen.

Little steps.

I got braver with each step and the adventure got bigger each time.  

Then I’d stop and check in with myself to see if what I was doing and saying still aligned my story and message and what brought me meaning.

I’d also check in with my past trauma and conditioning. Did I still want that old story to hold me back? No. But could I use it to move me forward and help others? You bet.

Then I took another step forward. And another. And another.

Then after a while, I stopped and looked back over the last 2 years and saw where all those little steps have taken me. Incredible.  

I always tell kids during my school talks, “Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to where you’ve been and what you’ve achieved.”

When you keep taking little steps, you’ll find you’re living a brand new ‘normal’.  

The unfamiliar comes familiar without you realising it.

Old beliefs have changed and you’re more confident than you were yesterday, because of your own lived experience.

What do little steps look like?

• Self-Reflection
• Reading books about the topic you’re interested in.
• Researching.
• Learning how to do something.
• Following someone on social media who you admire.
• Reaching out to contacting someone who inspires you.
• Writing an article about what you’ve learned.
• Researching how to a webinar
• Doing the webinar
• Research building a course or program
• Actually, building a course or program
• Writing a book.
• You get the idea.

Taking little steps each day towards doing something that brings you meaning and purpose, builds experience, confidence and self-worth.

Ad genius, Roy H Williams and my husband calls them, ‘ELBs’ – Exponential Little Bits.

Meaning, purpose and the ELBs built my self-worth back up.

Brick by brick.

Bird by Bird.

And it’ll always be an ongoing process.

You’ll still have fear. You’ll still have doubt.

But instead of crippling you, they’ll be your allies and help you take another step forward.

The journey is all yours to take.